Are you loyal or laid-back?

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A lot of us- and organisations place emphasis on longevity of service- attrition rate is built into the HR department’s KPI. Exiting staff are seen as being disloyal and staff who have been with an organisation for years are termed ‘loyal’.

The objective of this article isn’t to hypothesize on their loyalty or otherwise- well, maybe not in the way we would expect, it is rather a call for introspection on the employee’s part.

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Are you with your current organisation because you have keyed into the organisation’s objective and see yourself as a co-traveller on its journey or are with the organisation because you haven’t found something better and or cannot be bothered to search for a job?

Earlier in this year- 2019, a colleague and I had a conversation around work- we established we had learnt a lot in our current organisation and were developing even as our career was growing. However, a burning question was- do we know enough to thrive in the field of HR- regardless of which organisation we were practicing in, or do we know just enough to thrive in our current organisation?

That is a question anyone who is serious about career development and growth should ask themselves.

We ended the conversation with a resolution to seek for ways to test our knowledge and experience- apply and interview for positions to ascertain if our knowledge and experience can get us better offers or if we were just ‘local champions’.

It’s been a few months and a few tests and we have embraced the experience as learning opportunities. Areas of improvement have been identified and are being worked on. It is important to note that we are both still with our organisations as the objective wasn’t to move, but to identify areas of improvement.

This however isn’t a method I would widely recommend lest we be tempted as in the famous words ascribed to Babatunde Raji Fashola- Former Governor of Lagos state, Nigeria (2007 – 2015)- ‘May our loyalty never be tested.’ But then, maybe it should! Perhaps to sieve out the loyal from the laid-back.

It has been proven that only a minor percentage of the Hi-Po’s start and end their career with an organisation. This in my opinion is attributable to the fact that the top is narrower than the bottom. For example- if there are 4 Hi-Po’s from a class of 10 hired on the same day in different fields. Because of the conditions for career progression which can be roughly summarized to be- the individual has to display the skills and behavior for the next level and there has to be room for progression people will naturally drop off as they go higher and of course it’s narrower on top. There can only be so much room for progression- eventually some of your Hi-Po’s will need to leave to excel elsewhere. This exit will be termed by most to be disloyalty and the laid-back staff, content to continue doing the same thing over the years and progressing slowly will be deemed loyal.

My thought is- we need to get to a place where we can accurately measure results. Did Mr. A achieve more in 6 months than Mr. B in 5 years? If the answer to that question is yes, then Mr. A has done the organisation more good than Mr. B.

Or perhaps, Mr. A is just loyal to aggressively growing his career and slow progress isn’t an option. There is absolutely nothing wrong in being loyal to yourself, like it’s said; we are all CEOs of ‘Me Incorporated’ and we need to run our lives like a business ensuring we are yielding fruits- returns to our stakeholders. Lol.

As employees, I believe- this is perhaps because I am not yet up there having to defend attrition rate; however; I do believe it is better to give your best within a defined period, learn; soak-up as much knowledge as possible, and when the time comes for you to leave- leave on a good note, with your head held high. This I believe is better than making up the numbers and doing the bare minimum under the guise of ‘loyalty’.

The question for every employee today is- are you loyal or laid-back?

Brand Review: Zaron Cosmetics

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I feel like I’ve done Zaron cosmetics a lot of disservice. I had used their Oil Control Mineral Loose powder sometime in the past and it was ok, but of course I keep going back to my HG powder (BlackOpal loose powder in Neutral Light). Their lipstick pen in Muse (nude) is also a favorite of mine and yet I hadn’t posted a review. (I’m sorry Zaron).

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Zaron is a Nigerian owned brand and one for the brands I identified as I try to #buyNaijatogrowtheNaira. Sometime in March, I walked into their Ikoyi store and bought their Face Primer, Healthy Glow Liquid Foundation, Loose Powder, Maxi-blend Compact Powder and ofcourse the lipstick pen (there was the buy one get one free promo at the time of purchase). I have had a few repeat purchases, loved most of the products I have tried, particularly that the products are non-comedogenic and acnegenic. So, here’s my honest review of their products:

  1. Healthy Glow Liquid Foundation

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I’m currently on my second tube of foundation- the matte variant; and I’ve got to say I’m loving it! It has SP4 30, its medium to full coverage, very buildable, it does do a passably good job of staying matte (although not transfer resistant) and its VERY PIGMENTED! I feel like that’s its greatest quality. All in all, I will give it a 4/5. My only grouse is that it doesn’t stay matte all day, but then- which product stays matte all day in our weather?

  1. Oil Control Mineral Loose Powder

Zaron Loose powderThis is a good setting powder, it also has SPF, is medium coverage, very very pigmented. Everytime I applied the powder over the foundation, I felt my face was SO bright! I tried using a shade darker and still same difference. I just gave up and went back to my fave powder. I tried blending shades, still couldn’t get my perfect shade. Otherwise; good powder. This gets a 3/5 from me though. Maybe cause its mineral powder and I so badly wanted to switch to mineral powder and not being able to find my shade was a disappointment.

  1. Face Primer

FACE-PRIMER-2-300x300This was the product I didn’t really like. My regular primer combines both the priming effect and mattifying effect, this primer did not. Matter of fact, I didn’t see much of a difference between when I wore foundation and powder alone and when I wore the primer. I’m going to pass on rating this product.

 

  1. Lip Stick Pen

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A bit of a background to my love for lipstick pens: I haven’t had much luck with lipsticks- I like a matte finish, but all the mattes I have tried are always too dry; never blending, be it a tube lipstick or a liquid to matte lipstick; just hasn’t worked for me. However, lipstick pen do work for me. Not just Zaron’s, most lipstick pens do work for me.

I tried Zaron’s lipstick pen and I love it. My only grouse is that it doesn’t last. But it takes a lot for lipcolour to last on my lips, I’m forever pursing my lips or biting it. So, this also gets a 4/5 from me.

  1. Maxi-blend Compact Powder

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This purchase wasn’t for me but for my mom. She loved it and I loved it on her. Its medium coverage, not streaky or magnify fine lines, long wear and passably matte. I will give it a 4/5 as well.

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So, while I’m on my Zaron love, the product I would love to try is: Zaron Perfect Finish Spray. This is what Zaron says about it: Instant moisturizing and relaxing mist that freshens and treats the skin with its ultra-fine micro droplets. It’s light comfortable and sets all types of makeup. Prolonging wear even under extreme conditions. I have never used a finishing spray, would probably get one with my next purchase. If you have used this product, please let me know how it panned out for you, or if there’s a better finishing spray out there, please share in the comments section. And of course, you need to tell us what Zaron products you have used and your opinion.

XOXO

Chinma

PS: This is not a sponsored post, all opinions are mine. You can shop Zaron products here or at any of their nationwide stores. 

For Adults on Children’s Day

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Aunt Nikki* called out to me as I walked past her shop. I was hoping she won’t see me as I walked past, but alas I wasn’t so lucky. She spotted and called out to me.

I summoned up my trademark smile and turned to her. “Kaa Aunty.” (Good evening aunty) I greeted her.

“Chinma imelagi?” (Chinma how are you?) She asked in response.

“Adim mma. I lua le?” (I’m fine, are you back?) I asked her. I asked her referring to the trip I knew she had taken recently.

“Alua lem. Mommy gi a?” (I’m fine. How is your mom?) She responded and asked.

On and on the conversation went. When I finally continued my journey, a thought occurred to me: I had become my mother!

My mother is the strongest woman I’ve met, just by being, she challenges me to be better. Let’s not even get into her beauty; my sister and I have concluded our family’s beauty is one that gets better with age. That’s the only way to get through the ‘your mom is more beautiful than you’ comments. I love and admire my mom very much, so much that I love it when people say I’m just like her. But I don’t want to be ‘all of her’. There’s some of her character I would rather do without. Top of my mind is the ‘Nigerian’ greeting culture.

The greeting/ conversation with Aunt Nikki that just happened, was exactly how my mom would have greeted her. And if I were with my mom at the time (or maybe a few years earlier) I would have said a simple ‘good evening’ and walked ahead a few paces to wait for my mom and aunt Nikki to ask about everything and everyone while silently wondering why they couldn’t just say a quick good evening and walk away.

But here I am, replicating that same behavior I would love to not do. I imagine a lot of young adults are in my shoes, wondering how we got to replicate behavioral patterns we dislike. Some of us have come to realise that the world isn’t so black and white and issues aren’t so clear cut. The clarity of our childhood and youth has been eroded by this adult thingy and we are on our way to being our parents, guardians, teachers, mentors.

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I have used an example that’s easy, almost a non-issue, but when you really examine every other of your behaviors and mannerisms, you will find yourself replicating your parents or the people you associate with. In the good and the bad. That’s how issues like polygamy, domestic violence, lawlessness, drunkenness, etc. become family traditions. A child will do what he/she sees you do a hundred times befre he/she will do what you have asked him to do once. In the words of Dr. Gregory House of ‘House’ medical series: monkey see, monkey do!

Try as we can, we cannot run away from the influence of our formative years, which is why as parents we need to nurture our children with this consciousness. Knowing fully well that we are the bows from which our children as living arrows are sent forth.

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For our sakes as much as theirs, we need to do better. We need to be the future we hope to see. It’s not enough to want to do better, we need to actually do better. Ko ba le da! (so that it can be well).

 

Teach the children so it will not be necessary to teach the adults. – Abraham Lincoln.

Have a happy Children’s day!

*Not real name.

xoxo chinma

 

Product Review: Nature’s Gentle Touch Relaxer

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You all know I’m team #processednaturalhair, right? So recently, I’ve been feeling like something had gone wrong with my preferred relaxer brand, or maybe it was just ‘product adaptation’1, but it wasn’t as effective as it used to be.

I passively considered changing, but the question was; to which one? Relaxer isn’t something I pay premium attention to and I wasn’t about to go on a trial spree with my hair. Then I came across a Nature’s Gentle Touch ad, can’t remember exactly if it was an Instagram ad or one of the online store ads. Anyways, I researched on it, read it’s an herbal blend and all….. I decided to try it.

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My hair is the original comb breaking koko hair. Fast growing, almost unmanageable. I put it to the Nature’s Gentle Touch by Recare test, no, it was the other way round; I tested the product on my hair and I can honestly give it a positive review.

The relaxer comes in regular and super blend, I used the super formula; hooked up by my cousin CJ, applied by my regular stylist. CJ tried to get me to go to Nature Gentle Touch’s salon in VI and I was like; just to relax my hair? Lol.

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In the pack is the crème relaxer, an activator, shampoo, protein rich conditioner and leave in conditioner (in order of usage). Oh and not forgetting the pair of gloves and usage instructions.

So, James2 scooped some relaxer into a mixing bowl and activated it according to instructions. Unfortunately I don’t have pictures from the application process, not even pictures immediately after. The relaxer was applied to new growth (you all know we rarely follow the timing instructions and only wash off when it begins to burn). We used only the enclosed products for washing, conditioning and leave-in conditioning. The only different product used was original organic shea butter, which is all the hair crème I use. The hair was straightened and I was low-key impressed but held back from giving it full praise.

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Four days later and my straightened hair still looked good, I decided to review the product. This is a rare occurrence (last time it happened was in the first few applications with the previous relaxer). And typically by this time I should have had to plug in my flat iron, but no, this held through. Today is its fifth day and I can honestly give Nature’s Gentle Touch thumbs up and will gladly recommend.

You all, go try it out and let me know what you think.

1Product adaptation is whereby you are adapted to a particular product such that it looses its efficacy. Happens very often with skincare products.

2My hairstylist

Breaking The Silence: Drama?

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Here’s the continuation of the Breaking the Silence series. If you haven’t read any of the episodes and/ or have missed any episodes/ or can’t remember them; here’s the first: And the news came, the second The situationshipThe Situationship 2,  The End and a Beginning and The End & A New Beginning 2

Please read, enjoy, let me know what you think (comment) and don’t forget to share. 

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…… She read all 22 messages, laughing at the desperation to hear gist in Linda’s messages. Rather than text a response, she decided to call her.

After the call, she checked her other whatsapp messages. Regular group convos, and …… a message from Chike “Hi, how are you?”

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Like seriously, how am I?

I’m peachy, very fabulous!

Lol! Angry female alert!!!

I need to get over this guy and all other guys and I need to do it fast. Like one line from him and I am cave girl all over.

Seriously, the line probably meant nothing to Chike; he was cunning like that and might just have been catching trips. Meanwhile; here I was, about to burst a vein. Smh for myself.

Anyways, Ada wasn’t going to reply that message; at least not this night. She had had enough of the day.

Just before she drifted off to sleep a text came in. curious she checked her phone; it was from Mofe saying goodnight.

She went to bed with a smile on her face.

***

The coming weeks were drama-filled for Ada.

She avoided speaking with Chike and only responded to his messages r calls when it was absolutely necessary. But he was persistent! Like he invented the word.

At the same time Mofe was pursuing her like with all he had. Mofe was a sweetheart, but she just wasn’t ready to commit to a relationship with him. He said all the right things, made all the right promises, but Ada was like; been there done that! Lol!

She threw herself into the final details for Linda’s wedding and when that day came it was so beautiful, Ada teared up a number of times and she wasn’t a crier.

Their friends came in for the wedding so it was a sort of girls’ reunion.

In one of their men bashing/ advice offering sessions, it just clicked; Sola and Chike!!!

Sola was an ex-coursemate of theirs who rarely kept in touch. She was such a special person, peculiar in her own way. Sola wouldn’t keep in touch for months, but in your hour of need she was one person you could bank on, not just count on.

She came in for Linda’s wedding from Port-Harcourt where she worked and it was like they had never been apart. To be friends with Sola, you just needed to understand her and give her the space she needed when she needs it. And, what set the light bulb off in Ada’s head; she and Chike were so alike in their relationship ideals! With her (Ada and Chike), she had thought the law of opposites thingy would be what they had going for them, unfortunately; that didn’t work out. Their differences was responsible for all the fights they had. So….. maybe with someone more like him; they will be in sync! Why didn’t she think of this all the while? Ever since that text, Chike had been hounding her. He wanted them back together, but she was having none of it. Maybe if she hooked him up (discretely ofcourse on his part), he will let her go; focus on the new catch.

But she will pre-inform Sola though. Sola was too solid a friend for her not to fully disclose.

“Ok!” Was Sola’s response when she spoke with her about it. Her face lit up in a mischievous smile.  “Let’s have a bit of fun!”

Classic Sola! The plan was to get Sola to run into them; Chike had been asking for a meeting, she will indulge his request and somehow get him to meet Sola.

Either way, whatever the outcome of the meeting; she wasn’t leaving the meeting with Chike still nursing a come-back bid.

***

She invited Mofe to Linda’s wedding (more like he made her invite him, lol). She forgot she had also invited Chike sometime in the past. Or maybe she didn’t forget, she just had not expected him to attend. Even when they were together he always had an excuse why he couldn’t be at family events.

So it was very surprising when he showed up at the reception!

They had ushered in the couple, the reception was in full swing with the MC piloting the affairs, the bridesmaids and groomsmen had left the couple and joined the party. Ada had gone to sit with Mofe and his friend, and just like in the movies; Ada’s gaze was pulled to one of the entrances and there was Chike walking in with two of his friends.

She stopped mid-sentence with her mouth open in shock, her smile froze, her throat was suddenly dry.

She managed to end the sentence and promptly excused herself to go block him off before he came in and made a scene at Ada’s wedding.

Walking on rubbery legs she searched her brain for what she would say to him; empty, she came up empty. She felt like everyone in the party was watching her; which couldn’t be but it felt that way. The MC’s voice fell away, all felt silent and all she could hear was white noise. Her mind went over all the possible reasons Chike could have for coming to the wedding. In her mind’s eye she saw him walking in angrily, seeing her with Mofe and making a scene.

She would just die from mortification.

She was so lost in thought she didn’t see the waiter until she had bumped into him.

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What’s in Your Makeup? 5 Tips on How to Clean-up Your Cosmetics

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So a few weeks ago, I got this very unsettling email from Consumer Safety on the ingredients in our everyday makeup.

In 2016, I had tried to clean up my cosmetics; going back to natural products (see most of my fave beauty products) in as many products as possible. However, this infographic called my attention to the fact that I hadn’t done nearly enough.

Sadly, most of my cosmetics and makeup failed this test. I was amazed at how many of my cosmetics were still in unsafe territory. Have you seen this link on talcum powder and ovarian cancer? It’s some serious stuff. So, I’m sharing this to spread the awareness on the dangers of some ingredients in our everyday cosmetics.

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It’s alarming to find that most powders, moisturizers, toothpastes, shampoos, shaving creams, and so many more are all filled with toxins that our bodies absorb. Our skin is our largest organ, so we should be more aware of what we put on it!

This year, and going forward, I have committed to cleaning out my cosmetics, here are five ways I plan to achieve that:

1. READ PRODUCTS LABELS: Avoid products with questionable ingredients, and avoid products who do not buy products without product listings. And please, if you have found a cosmetic line that doesn’t contain any of these harmful chemicals, please share. 

I’m going to be that lady in the store reading product labels item by item and crossing off my lists.

2. GO DIY: Do it yourself products are safe but a bit of a problem people have with it is; some of these products are not so easily accessible. There might be some problem sourcing some of the ingredients. But; do your research, go to your neighborhood health stores and source for your products yourself.

3. AVOID THE SALES RACK: I’ve ended up with a bunch of items I didn’t need because they were on sale. And I found that I took my time studying products labels when they were not on sale (probably has to do with the store not being crowded at the time). So this year, I’m going to avoid the discount stores, or if I must buy products at a discount, I will do my research online before hitting the stores.

4. DON’T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH: That your great-aunt used certain products through her life, lived to be a hundred and passed peacefully in her sleep doesn’t take away the fact that those products might be harmful. Do your own research before you buy or use products, if it’s questionable, please avoid it.

5. DRINK WATER, EAT A LOT OF FRUITS AND VEGGIES: I’m sure a lot of us will be wondering what this tip is doing here. Truth is; a lot of the conditions we treat with expensive creams with complex labels can be helped with a good diet and enough rest. So, eat well drink a lot of water, get some rest and watch your dependence on cosmetics reduce.

There you have it, my five tips I hope to follow to clean up my cosmetics this year. Let me know how you intend to achieve this, and if you have already; how did you do it?

Have a great day.

#beautyfriday, chinma eke's blog

As The Year Ends……

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Every year since I started this blog, I write a ‘Motivational’ article which I publish on the last day of the year. This year, I would love for you all to read my epilogue here. That was me sharing a bit of what my 2016 was about.

I have a word for us all, it was a response I gave to Betty Irabor’s tweet sometime ago

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This words are as true today as they were on the 1st of November. It is the year ending and not your life. And just as the age old saying goes; where there is life, there is hope. I wish us all a great 2017; our latter will always be greater than the last.

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Breaking the Silence: The End & A Beggining

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‘I’m not going to get into how you never see anything wrong with your actions, I’m not going to get into how much you’ve hurt me. But you have and try as I have I can’t get past it. This thing of ours is unlike anything I have ever known; it’s been two years and I can’t get used to it. I don’t want to be friends with you anymore; it hurts too much! Don’t ever contact me; if you do I will block you. Have a good evening.’

Adaeze edited and reread the text. It might not look like much but her heart was in those words. She really needed to pass the message to Chike that they were done for good.

A few hours later he responded. ‘Wow, many words! No worries, I will honor your request. If you want it like this so be it.’

**

Adaeze’s philosophy to breakups had always been; it’s not over until the ex tries to make a comeback and you refuse to go back, avoid Okafor’s law and all…. Then it really is over.

Adaeze tried to move on in spite of the pain of the broken dream and dashed hope. She threw herself into work, life; there was just something about living and not existing, especially when you are living on your own terms and not on the whims and caprices of another in the name of being ‘girl-friend’.

She could go out with her girls without having to check with Chike on convenience or if he would have preferred that they do something else.

The up-side to being in a relationship is it provides for companionship, the downside- is its restrictiveness. When you’re in a relationship you become a part of a pair (as it should be). The downside comes when the relationship is over. Then you find you don’t know who you are anymore. Everything reminds you of your ex; movies watched together, places visited together, you could just be in the middle of a conversation and you say a word that had double entendre and just like that you are back in pity party land.

Adaeze gave herself time to mourn her relationship. She knew she needed to heal. Beyond Chike she knew she needed to get rid of the daddy issues she had. This constant search for a father figure in her relationships needed to end lest she do herself in by settling for a crappy relationship or worse; a crappy marriage.

Linda was a rock through this trying times for Adaeze. Adaeze had always admired Linda’s relationship. Linda had been seeing Tayo Fayemi for about three years at the time and they were the classic ‘point of contact couple’. They rarely had any fights of note, got along famously, were so in sync, could finish off each other’s sentences, and were good old friends. They were getting married the next year. ‘Daeze was sure they were going to do the ‘I’m marrying my best friend’ lol! They were an inspiration and a heartache; the classic Yoruba and Ibo union, their relationship surviving against all odds. They were also a heartache, could drive a sister to envy! Lol!

Adaeze threw herself into helping Linda plan her upcoming wedding. Between work, church and the upcoming wedding, she was kept very busy. Too busy to think about a guy! Lol! At the time, the last thing she needed was a guy distracting her, she just wanted to be alone to ‘find’ herself.

It was a busy Saturday, she was backing out of Sofresh neighborhood market, a parfait in one hand, her phone wedged between her ear and shoulder, her handbag and a shopping bag in the other hand. She bumped into a warm body and spun around so very quickly almost spilling the contents of her cup on the person she bumped into.

“I’m so sorry!” She apologised. “Babes, lemme call you back.” She said into the phone and dropped both the shopping bag on the floor with her handbag on it. She retrieved her phone from her shoulder. “I’m sorry she apologised again. “Hope I didn’t stain you.” She examined his shirt, and well; got a good look at him. He was tall, but not so much; say 5’ 9”, dark and of average build. Adaeze took in the smile, sunglasses and the white ‘Yoruba demon’ attire (as she had come to think of the popular male traditional shirt and trousers) and her defenses rose.

“No you didn’t.” He replied, giving her an appreciative look.

Duh! She could see that for herself. His cocky attitude was putting her off already, she was immediately irritated. Besides, she knew she didn’t look her best, she had been shopping and running errands all day, was in a plain top and leggings, her hair was unmade and she wasn’t wearing any makeup. What was he appreciating?

“Sorry I bumped into you.” She bent to retrieve her hand and shopping bag. She made to walk around him.

“Not so fast beauty. My name is Mofe” He extended his hand in a handshake.

“Nice to meet you Mofe.” She replied with a plastic smile. She raised both hands in an indication that her hands were full.

He followed her out of Sofresh. “Where are you headed?” He asked walking with her.

She pointed to the waiting cab.

He walked with her to the car and extended his phone to her when she got in. “May I have your number?” He asked in perfect politeness.

She looked at him, her perfect smile in place, set to decline. And then she thought……… ’wharrevva

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Hello December…..

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Happy New Month darlins, welcome to December!

How have you all been, I hope the first eleven months of 2016 have been good to you? If it hasn’t; don’t loose hope, don’t despair, that you are alive means there is hope for better.

So, we are in the last month of December; Christmas is around the corner along with its attendant excitement and pressures (yes pressures). The best advice anyone can give or receive in this day is ‘live one day at a time’. I encourage us all with these words, I ask that we do not give in to the pressures of the season. Trust and believe in the one in whom you believe knowing that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all you could ask of Him.

So, on a lighter note; my tree is supposed to go up today. Between the eight-to-five and traffic I’m not sure today is possible. But by Saturday my tree will definitely go up. Not feeling very festive, as I’m sure a lot of us aren’t; but this little things go a long way to lighten our hearts and moods. I encourage us to try to enjoy the season, if for no other reason but to appreciate the reason behind the season.

I hear Christmas bells ringing……… Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way.…….

Have a blessed month, I wish you God’s grace.

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