I really have no excuse, so I’m just going to apologise for not writing more often, and in order not to set myself up for more apologies, I’ll try not to promise more than I can deliver.
How have y’all been, I’ve missed you, I’ve missed this column, and I’ll really try to write more often. Meanwhile, enjoy my monday thoughts.
We were out one day, me, my aunt and my cousins (9years old girl and 7 years old boy). My cousin; Susan was very uncomfortable in her dress; the sleeve was too tight, and she soon asked her mom when they were leaving as she wanted to go home and get out of the uncomfortable clothes. Her mom asked her to draw nearer and gave her what I think is a hilarious but apt definition of ‘looking good/being a big girl’.
My aunt said to her daughter; sometimes, looking good and being a big girl is painful. You see aunt Chidinma (me) cat-walking in those her fine high heels; those shoes are painful and she’s just enduring it. Or you see aunt Mabel (thankfully, another example) in her fine clothes, and you don’t know she can barely breathe because she has used body magic to reduce her size many sizes smaller to fit into the dress. Reeling with laughter at the accurate analysis, I chip in my two cents; or when you see us with our lovely hair, you don’t know the pain we endured through making it and even afterwards, or the weight of our heavy jewellery. Us ladies at that table now began to share our uncomfortable fashion moments; from heavy makeup (war paint) we feel like scrubbing off, to tight bras that threaten to stifle us but we wear for support and balance, on and on we went.
The little girl became convinced and ‘managed’ not to look so miserable, but that got me thinking; do we really need all these adornment before we can look good or feel good about ourselves, or have we just been indoctrinated to believe we do? I ask myself time and time again what the difference is in going down the road or to the market, and in going to a party, church, etc. Why can I comfortably go makeup free to any of the former places but wouldn’t go to any of the latter places sans makeup? I ask myself why our clothes have to be so tight we are sweating by the time we fit into it. It really is hilarious watching an adult female fit into jeans trousers; the jumping, and waist and hip rotation in order to achieve a sleek snug look.
Some women won’t be caught looking less than runway ready beyond their bedroom, and will go any length to keep up with the standards, and it just keeps me wondering. Why our heels have to be so high, we walk funny. Even as I write this article, I’m thinking of the five inches Red shoes I’ve promised myself, and I’m asking myself why not a more comfortable three inches, or flats?
It isn’t like the men are excused from the ‘over-prepping bug’, some men can preen and prep so much they’ll make a gorgeously dressed woman look shabby, it’s the ratio difference in men who prep vs. men who don’t, and the women who prep vs. the women who don’t that make this look like a peculiar female problem.
So what’s your take on beauty being pain, because this to me appears like a problem we all know we have but, I guess like my little Nine year old cousin, we’ve all been indoctrinated that Beauty is Pain, so we ignore the pain in the quest for beauty.
Share your thoughts, have a great week ahead.