Today’s post is dedicated to ‘You'(you know yourself), and all of us who have ‘anger management issues’.
To prevent anger from getting out of hand:
1. Learn what anger is.
2. Identify what triggers your anger.
3. Recognize signs that you’re becoming angry, and diffuse your anger(see step 1 below).
4. Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way.
5. Explore underlying feelings, such as sadness or depression.
However, when anger is full blown already:
1. My best anger management tip is: calm yourself down. Silently count to 10 or 20 or more. Do or think of something positive and relaxing that serves to defuse your anger and calm you.
It could be: a good old workout(exercise), yoga, deep breathing, listening to music, physical labor such as house cleaning, etc.
Or, Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don’t use sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
2. Don’t trust your judgment when angry. Anger magnifies and amplifies only the negative aspects of an issue, distorting realistic appraisal. Do not make any major decisions in anger, you might regret it later.
3. Know that your temporary state of anger has prepared you to fight when you really need to learn more, solve a problem, or, if it involves a loved one, be more compassionate.
After you must have calmed yourself, the next tips will help analyse the cause of anger and prevent future recurrence:
4. Express your anger. As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
5. Try to see the complexity of the issue. Anger requires narrow and rigid focus that ignores or oversimplifies context. Strive to understand other people’s perspectives. When angry you assume the worst or outright demonize the object of your anger.
6. Don’t justify your anger. Instead, consider whether it will help you act in your long-term best interest.
7. Know your physical and mental resources. Anger is more likely to occur when tired, hungry, sick, confused, anxious, preoccupied, distracted, or overwhelmed (a hungry man is an angry man).
8. Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
9. Focus on improving and repairing rather than blaming. It’s hard to stay angry without blaming and it’s harder to blame when focused on finding a solution to the cause of the anger (repairing or improving).
10. Don’t hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.
If you try and are unable to achieve all these, seek ‘Anger management counselling’. Counseling can be done individually, with your partner or other family members, or in a group. Request a referral from your doctor to a counselor specializing in anger management, or ask family members, friends or other contacts for recommendations.