Dear Ms Psyche,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of many years, but its been hard to move on.
Broken Hearted Girl.
Dear broken hearted girl, I’m sorry for your loss, but you must move on.
During a break up, or after a break up, it is usually perceived that it’s (most times) more difficult for the woman to get over it. When we end a relationship with someone we loved, it can be hard. We sometimes feel like we may never get over that person. I know it’s difficult, but getting over your old relationships is hard and heartbreaking. I know you feel as if they are everything to you and you can’t even process the fact that you’re done. If you still think of them 24/7 then that’s cool because there’s always an obstacle that you can get over no matter what and here is how.
You are allowed to cry. You shouldn’t have to keep your emotions bottled up inside you in order to appear ‘strong’. You cry because it hurts and you have these emotions bottled up inside you. When you shake a bottle and open it, what happens? It just spills out before you can catch it. This concept applies to your emotions except don’t try to catch your emotions, just let them spill out and release some of the pressure you feel.
You want answers because without them you are clueless right? Don’t get into your head pondering why. Why did we break up? Why did he/she do that? This path leads to depression. Rather, analyse what went right or wrong in the relationship and learn from it.
>Don’t think about it.
I know this part is hard, but you need to TRY. Go on to your daily life activities and start to worry about things that are more important to you…. like family, friends, jobs, school and most importantly yourself. When you lose this person it will hurt for quite a while, don’t get depressed and push these people away. Trust and believe you can’t make it through this alone and you’ll start to realize nothings promised forever.
>Get some closure.
You need to literary shut that chapter of your life. Yes you will always have a place for them in your heart no matter what, but just be happy that you can smile again and think of it as a learning experience.
>Don’t jump into another relationship on the rebound.
Right now, you may feel like another relationship is what you need, but, first you need some you time. Time to love yourself and find yourself. After examining your past relationship and what went wrong, you shouldn’t jump into another relationship immediately or you might end up making the same mistakes again. Chill, take your time, before you plunge in again.
I love hearing from you.